A Letter To Ruby On Her First Birthday

Dear Ruby,

We made it to one! A rather large achievement on my part since I have managed to keep two children fed and watered for a year (7 in total) when I can’t even keep a house plant alive for a week!

When you came into the world exactly a year ago today, I was so overwhelmed and a little caught off guard – you were early after all and I expected you to be late like your sister. Those first few weeks and months have turned into a blur now, between the constant screaming, next to no sleep and feeding all the time, I honestly wondered what we had done wrong. You never seemed content and the only time your little face wasn’t all scrunched up was if you were asleep. I would give my right arm to go back and give your little teeny newborn body a cuddle in the middle of the night one more time. I often go into your room at night time and have to physically stop myself from getting you up and giving you a quick squeeze, sleepy cuddles are rare these days.

As the months wore on you became happier, you could play under your mat and were content to sit in your swing going back and forth watching the world go by. They are my favourite memories, the ones where I was confident you were happy and we were all relaxed. As you have got older your personality has really begun to shine through. You are so funny, your facial expressions are hilarious and you are always telling people to ‘shhh!’ probably because we spent much of your early days shushing you! You can say, ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’, you can say ‘Fish’ and you can woof like the dog. You amaze us every single day with the things you come out with. We can have a complete babble conversation and fall about laughing like our own little secret joke.

Now you have learnt to walk it has opened up a whole new world for you. You are curious and want to touch everything. No means nothing to you – if you want something you will go to whatever length to get it. You are incredibly stubborn (sorry that comes from me!) and if you don’t want to do something you simply won’t. You don’t like holding our hands when walking around unless you are leading us to something and if you don’t want to sit in the buggy, you will wriggle and scream until someone gets you out. You always get your way in the end…especially when Daddy is around! I hope that this never changes and you remain as strong willed and spirited as you grow up. I don’t think you are going to be one to follow the crowd, you are going to be one of those ‘free spirited’ children who basically do whatever the hell they want!

You love cars, trains and anything with wheels. I always joke that you were supposed to be a boy! You are the polar opposite of your sister who is as girly as they come. I don’t think I will be rushing out for hair clips and tutus with you! But that’s OK you make your own choices and I love that even though you are only one you know exactly what you do and don’t like.

The days seem to be flying by and I am sure that in a years time I will be saying ‘I can’t believe I wrote that a year ago, it feels like yesterday’. I recently heard the saying ‘The days are so long but the years fly by’ and it is so true. Some days I am clock watching for In The Night Garden knowing its nearly your bedtime but I know that that means another day has gone and you are another day older. So do me a favour and stop growing up so fast I am not ready for you to be a proper little girl, I have only just got used to having two little humans to look after!

I never knew how much I loved your Daddy until we had you, the love he has for you is amazing and you have completed our family in a way I never thought possible. So Ruby, never change, you may drive me insane with your constant running around and your inability to sit still but we wouldn’t have you any other way.

Happy 1st Birthday Ruby. I love you so so much.

Mamma xxx

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